The Guru & The Journalist

26 Jan 2012    

News: Any self-respecting political guru would begin by abolishing himself (Telegraph)

Let me sharpen up and rewrite this Telegraph article as follows:

What is a political guru? A wild young man or a starry eyed old man who has let go of the moral and intellectual box that imprisons the rest of humanity, a guru who points out the lunacy of society and teaches us to expand our minds and take control of life.

Some specialise in the dark arts of appearances, we call these men PR gurus, Spin Doctors, Witch Doctors, Sophists and Cave Painters. Some specialise in the exact opposite, looking into the light and trying to turn people's backs to the cave wall, the very cave wall they have spent a lifetime watching and enjoying. We call this second type philosophers, dreamers and idealists who talk about ships and stars and gods and goods and other strange things.

The former are a danger to society, the latter are theoretically our salvation; yet the problem is we journalists who hold the golden keys to the people's minds can't tell, or don't want to tell, the difference.

The terrible truth is that any guru who understands what we journalist are really like deep inside would know how hopeless trying to turn the world toward the light is, he would know we are going to spend our lives glued to the cave wall, at least until disaster shakes the world. He would know that it's our self-respect he challenges, and our patience he tries, we journalists know deep down we don't know very much, but we compensate for that by knowing a little bit about everything. The guru dares to take all that away from us, he says our skill is in one thing only, namely the science of rhetoric, and he tells us we need to study it, and he takes all the rest away from us and says it is someone else's job.

A guru would know we are never going to accept that, he wouldn't try to teach anyone or be anyone's friend in journalism or politics or the other arts of power, he would know that until the would goes mad it's hopeless to try and reach gatekeepers like us. The true guru would live in wooden hut on a mountain top with the internet, publishing an analysis of society and the problems and solutions to issues big and small, knowing that one day when the streets are running with blood and gore his research will be found and given the attention it deserves.

At least that is what any self respecting guru would do because all other paths would be humiliating and painful. But as I think about that thought I wonder what a guru without self-respect would do?

Didn't they say that Socrates had no ego? I think it would be pretty blasphemous to call Jesus self-respecting too wouldn't it? Come to think about it, self-respect is not a feature of the true guru, it's something associated with little people and great impostors. When you really look the gorgon in the eye, wasn't it self love that killed the Athenians as well as the modern world? The true guru doesn't care about pain or humiliation, so perhaps he would try to turn a few lost souls around in the interim instead of living alone on that mountain top.

Still, I for one won't be listening to him, I have a wife and kids back at the cave and I am not going to stick my neck above the parapet and try to write something filled with light! Send me a sophist not a philosopher, teach me to be the greater rhetorician of all time, to know exactly how to reach the hearts and minds of my fellow men, and then I shall be happy and rich and leave evolution to my next life.

How can I shake my audience to the very core, transporting them to new heights, making their minds wild with fear and excitement? How can I play the pan pipes of the shepherd who controls the flock, how can I make them love me more than they have ever loved another writer before? Aren't these the dreams we journalists care about, not the mad world saving art of philosophy. If a guru can give me that I would read his web site, for that even I would study wretched philosophy!